Geronimo gets green fingers at The Allotment in Cherry Lipstick's cover story
Simon, John, Nick and Roger used to have the best, most popular plot in the allotment. Everyone would gather round to look at their plants and vegetables that bloomed all year round. Over the years they had less success growing things, which they blamed on the weather, or one of their co-gardeners, or the people they paid to pick them. Now they had a rather overgrown, much smaller plot towards the back of the allotment.
A few years ago Simon had written an information booklet called ‘All You Grow Is Now’ that had gained a lot of local attention. Now they were back to see if they could repeat their skills. They found their plot was covered in weeds.
Simon’s job was to inspire enthusiasm by reading motivation passages from his new leaflet. “You’ve got to dig like it’s the last allotment in the city” he shouted. “Er, that sounds like a bad line from a leaflet called Potting Shed Trash,” said Nick. “OK,” said Simon, “I know what it is coming over ya – compost-phobia!” “Try again,” said John. “You kill bugs with pesticide?” offered Simon.
Roger sighed. His job was to do the digging. He was aware that over the years he had found it harder and harder to lift the bigger spades. Now he only had a trowel that he made little digging motions with, making small dents in the soil. He went and had a sit down.
John’s hoe had got rusty. He spent a long time putting pretty stickers on it and then stood looking determined over his patch. He jabbed at it a bit and twisted it round, just like he used to. “Maybe we need someone from a different plot that hoes as well,” he thought.
Nick loved his secateurs. It meant he could twiddle bits of bean stalks into lovely shapes. It didn’t do much to get the allotment actually growing things, but it always set the tone for which vegetable to grow and it looked pretty at the end.
John looked up. “Hey, Simon, have we sorted out who’s got the garden fork this time?” Simon winced. The garden fork had caused problems over the years. He looked round to find that Dom was hanging around by the shed pretending he wasn’t listening. “Hey, Dom…” said Simon, but before he could finish Dom burst over all excited like a puppy shouting, “I’m on it!!!!” and began hacking away at the mud with his fork.
Time passed and, as ever, the group got some decent vegetables growing. “Sow to the potato gods,” said Simon. “You’ve got the kale for today!” At this point the new owner of the allotment, Mr CornerShop Bros, turned up. He had to decide whether the produce was good enough to justify the group having another turn at the allotment after this harvest had been picked. He looked carefully at what the guys had grown. “Um, how about we get some extra gardeners in to grow things with you?” he suggested. “Just to add some sprouts and cabbage.” “Oh, I’m not sure…” began Simon. “Ah, here they are now!” said Mr Bros.
Soon Mr Bros was happy enough, but still felt something else was going to be needed to get people to come and look at what they had grown. “I know just the trick,” he said, and got a big picnic blanket with pictures of their produce from years ago. He laid it over the top so no one could see what was underneath. “That’s perfect,” he said.
But the new vegetables were actually pretty tasty - and the boys went off for a couple a years to sell it all. And they'll be back to grow some more next year.
The picture above was found AFTER the article was written
AND SO WAS THIS!!!
Now follow this link for a really weird website:
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
The picture and quote feel like they're straight out the pages of Viz, but here, from 1984, is Mr Roger Rhodes talking proudly about his son (in pure Northern English)
DID YOU KNOW: When Duran supported Blondie in the USA in August 1982 there were various problems. Blondie’s guitarist, Chris Stein, was deeply ill and losing weight with a rare skin condition. The shows did not sell out with some venues half-full. The second leg of the tour in Europe was cancelled due to poor ticket sales. It was Blondie’s last tour until 1998.
Cherry Lipstick now welcomes a new contributor George Kopsaftis. George has regularly contributed to the Duran pro-board and also is featured in The Music Between Us by Durandy.
My First… Concert: November 24, 1983, Memorial Drive, Adelaide, Australia
Some say, 'It's never as good as the first time' and in fact this show changed my life to an extent! It was their only open air gig Down Under. I had just turned 14 and went with a mate from my year 9 class. At the time there was no indoor 10-12,000 seater indoor arena in town. This was so major for me because it was my first major rock concert and was at the venue where previously huge acts like Led Zeppelin, The Police, The Rolling Stones, Elton John and AC/DC had played. Many years later U2 and INXS would play here too. Yet Duran was here after only having only released two albums (that could well be a record for this venue). Well OK, 7 And The Ragged Tiger had been released 5 days prior to this show, but the tickets went on sale in the August.
Those monumental gigantic Corinthian columns were part of a massive stage set like a mini one sided Acropolis and I could see them from the car while being driven down War Memorial Drive as I was dropped off at the entrance gate. I remember the smell of the grass (trampled-on grass that is) and every time I attend an outdoor rock show, boy does it take me back.
We got there at about 5pm and sunset wasn't until 8.30pm, a little wait but so bloody worth it. The Little Heroes were supporting Duran and I recall the b-side to Jackson’s Thriller blasting thru the sound system before showtime. Every track from the S&TRT album was played live except for Tiger Tiger which was a recording as the band walked on. That JT/RT rhythm section was amazing. I remember AT (with ponytail) swinging his guitar all dressed in white, Le Bon in black cargo pants with many zips and colourful yellow, blue and pink t-shirt. I'll never forget Simon looking to the stars for the moon prior to playing New Moon On Monday and asking the thousands where was it was coz he couldn't find it considering the stage was facing west. The show rocked - and it was LOUD. This was way before curfews and outdoor sound restrictions were put in place. 70% (or thereabouts) of the audience were females making a lot of noise, so the sound had to rise above the screams in order for anyone to hear it.
I remember the middle chill-out section which consisted of The Seventh Stranger, The Chauffeur and Save A Prayer. In between the Seventh Stranger and The Chauffeur, Nick played a snippet of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. How appropriate under a starry night. No laptop or iPad but a massive computer and screen which sat behind Nick which was the size of a family room TV. How innovative for back then. The intro to New Religion and the atmospheric smoke from the stage smoke machine blowing over the crowd standing on the grassed area like a blanket and then to the sky was something I'd never seen. They played The Reflex in its original form and Roger’s throbbing drum intro was truly something else. Unfortunately I have no photos, I guess I couldn't be trusted taking the family Minolta to a rock concert. They say "sometimes great moments are best captured in a memory.” Regardless, it would have been great to chronicle for the sake of cherishing. To date I have only seen Duran five times. The 20 year wait was way too long and totally unfair for those Down Under. My next show wasn’t until Enmore in Sydney 2003 and to be honest it WAS as good as the first time but in a totally different manner. It was an intimate 2000-seater show when they actually opened with Friends Of Mine'.
But that first show - I was in 2nd year high school, 'believed' I was invincible with the world at my feet and I was handed a ticket to this DD gig......... and indeed it changed my life.
AND FINALLY: please - no, really, please - don't send him any more