The Cherry Lipstick Album Reviews: As The Lights Go Down
1984 - time of magic and mystery! Let's relive it all again - but this time in the company of a myth-deflating modern day teenager.
My Dad finally persuaded me to listen to his new Duran Duran record, As The Lights Go Down. Well, he insisted, saying something about teenagers in the 80s liking it, including, apparently, my Mum. I think he thought I might like it too, what with me being 15 and female. Well, we’ll see.
I like pop like Arianna Granda, Sean Mendes and Little Mix. It’s catchy, you sing along and you can dance to it. I listen on my phone, not on a record player, of course, though the pink record looked cool. Not that I was that particularly bothered.
1984 was 35 years ago. I don’t suppose teenagers in 1984 liked stuff from 1949. I was also very tired when I listened to it cos I’d been up til 4am chatting (don’t tell my Dad) and that didn’t help.
So, please remember Duran Duran were big when I think there was at least colour TV, but there was definitely no phones. (I don’t even want to imagine not having a phone – what would I do? I'm sorry, but it's obviously better now than it was back then!)
Here's what was transcribed from what I said during one listen early one Sunday morning (12pm). Forgive me if the star rating is a bit all over the place. It really was very early...
Tiger Tiger. This sounds awful, like from a horror movie. It’s not a great start to a show, I could go to sleep. Why is it going on so long? [time passes] Oh my God, it’s still going! (No stars)
Is There Something I Should Know? Well it’s OK, not bad. It sounds old. It’s too slow. Where’s the chorus? [the chorus starts] That’s a rubbish chorus! It sounds like something you’d play at a dinner party when you don’t listen to stuff. (2 stars)
Hungry Like The Wolf. This is better, it’s more catchy… this is good! The guitar sounds really good! [the chorus starts] I know this one! You could play this and dance. The guitar really stands out. The Please Please Tell Me Now one was so samey, there was nothing catchy about it, it was so dull;. This one really builds up. It could be done by 5 Seconds Of Summer or The Vamps. (4 stars)
Union of the Snake. It’s all to samey again. It’s too slow and there’s no build up. The chorus sounds like the verse, it hasn’t changed at all. [time passes]. I’m bored. This is rubbish, you can’t dance to it. (2 stars)
New Religion. It’s different, which is good. I want to know where it goes. [time passes] Is anything going to happen? It’s gone back again. It’s not going anywhere. I like the bass. The singing is rubbish. This has got worse and worse, it’s going on too long. (1 star)
Save A Prayer. It sounds like they’re doing a sad song at last, I like soppy songs and this is the closest they’ve come. The singing sounds whiny. If he was on a talent show he’d get nowhere. I like the guitar on it. Maybe this would be better if I could see them. Were they fit? [sees video]. Oh God, this looks like it cost 50p. What is he [Simon] wearing? He’s not as fit as Sean Mendes, he’s perfect, but I bet I show him to my kids and they don’t like him! Where are the others in the band? I’d be sad if I was them and not in it. This is a really random video, just loads of clips jumbled together. (3 stars)
Seventh Stranger. What’s happening? I’m dying it’s so boring. [time passes] I’ve started looking at my spilt ends. Is that a chorus? It’s beyond terrible. (minus 3 stars)
The Chauffeur. It’s different, but I’m hoping it’s not different like the other one. It sounds like they’re experimenting with different things, which I quite like. I like that middle bit. I like that they’ve written it and it’s not just remixes. It’s them playing on it. No one would bring anything out like this now, but I do like Bille Eilish who does different things. (3.5 stars)
Careless Memories. I prefer the guitar on this. The actual music and the beat is good. I can imagine dancing to this but I’ve no idea what any of the songs are about. I can’t hear the words. What does ‘careless memories’ even mean? (3.5 stars)
Planet Earth. This hurts my head. There’s too much and it’s Sunday and I haven’t had any sleep. I just want it to stop. (no stars)